My 10 LEAST FAVORITE Movies of 2015

You have to take the good with the bad. I’ve already released the list of my ten favorite movies. Now it’s time to share the list of ten movies that either should’ve never existed or were just flat out disappointing. As always, I don’t get a chance to see every movie (and some movies I’m too busy to waste time on) so there’s plenty of terrible films from the year that won’t be on this list because I never got around to sitting through them. If you want me to go further in depth as to why I didn’t like these movies, feel free to click on the title for the longer review.

  1. TAKEN 3 Released almost a year ago, this movie is still forgettable, taking Liam Neeson through even more outlandish action antics. This movie might get the award for most unnecessary film of 2015.
  1. PIXELS I’m essentially done giving Adam Sandler chances. There were a few laughs in here, but not enough to justify Sandler and the majority of the cast giving as little effort as possible with a dumb script.
  1. FANTASTIC FOUR *SIGH* So much potential here. The cast was good. The director was supposedly good. And yet, the end result was a boring, obviously rushed attempt to make a fun comic book feel as droll as possible.
  1. ALOHA Never before had I sat through a romantic comedy with a more convoluted plot and a greater sense of purposelessness.
  1. PAN Hugh Jackman and some colorful imagery couldn’t save this film from being a complete waste of time. Dumb characters and casting choices that completely missed the mark on the essence of the Peter Pan story are what made this film a complete disaster.
  1. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY An hour and a half of awkward softcore porn, bad dialogue, and B-movie acting. Twilight at least had an occasional action sequence. This movie just seemed utterly pointless.
  1. THE PERFECT GUY A movie so filled with thriller clichés and moronic characters that it is mind boggling to try and figure out why such a talented cast agreed to take part in it.
  1. SEVENTH SON A movie so bad and forgettable, I literally forgot to review it. Major plot points that are never explained, actors phoning it in, and just an overall boring tone make this one of the worst fantasy films to date.
  1. JUPITER ASCENDING Quite frankly the worst science fiction film I’ve ever seen. Convoluted doesn’t even begin to describe the plot, and every character is downright insufferable. I could rant for half an hour about why this movie sucks, but you can just read the full review.
  1. THE BOY NEXT DOOR Jennifer Lopez being attractive is no saving grace. This movie is awful, from its plot to its characters, to its Lifetime movie production value. It was literally the only movie in 2015 that I felt like walking out of.


Honorable Mention: Minions, The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials, Insurgent, Furious 7, Mortdecai


May 2015 Quick Reviews

Summer movie season is in full swing. Here are some quick thoughts on some of the films that capped the month of May…

San_Andreas_posterSAN ANDREAS Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson stars as rescue pilot Chief Ray Gaines in this earth quake disaster film about the San Andreas fault (mainly encompassing California) ripping apart. The film is pretty much everything you’d expect a disaster movie with The Rock to be. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

San Andreas is stuffed full of nearly every disaster movie cliché imaginable: A scientist that no one listens to until it’s too late (Paul Giamatti), a significant other that the main character must reconcile with (Carla Gugino), an offspring that needs saving (Alexandra Daddario), and a character who turns full a-hole when everything starts to go south (Ioan Gruffudd). But it’s still fairly entertaining. The action sequences are no less (or more) interesting than the events in films like 2012 or The Day After Tomorrow, but the 3D is a nice added touch. And as far as leads go, Dwayne Johnson is right in his element here, when he isn’t trying to show too much emotional depth. All in all, the film is decent time spent, but don’t expect anything earth shatteringly original. Pun intended. FINAL GRADE: C+

Tomorrowland_posterTOMORROWLAND In this day and age when spoilers are released via on-set cell phone footage and each movie gets four trailers to show you all of the interesting parts, Tomorrowland is an absolute breath of fresh air. Kept relatively under wraps, the story revolves around an intelligent, young girl (Britt Robertson) who is recruited to save a futuristic world kept secret by history’s best and brightest. George Clooney co-stars as the former child genius turned cynical recluse who reluctantly aids her on her journey.

The cast, especially Clooney, deserves credit for strong, emotionally grounded performances. The only problem is that this adventurous build-up comes to a highly underwhelming climax that manages to weigh down the entire film. And, although highly relevant, the movie beats you over the head with its overarching message. Still, kudos to Disney and director Brad Bird for withholding all of their secrets to make this film feel wildly original. FINAL GRADE: B-

Aloha_posterALOHA Where do I start with this one? I guess I’ll begin with the overly convoluted plot. Yes, a romantic comedy has a complicated story. Anywho, Bradley Cooper stars as a contractor for the military who returns to his hometown in Hawaii to help a billionaire (Bill Murray) with a satellite launch. Yes, that’s actually the plot. Emma Stone co-stars as his Air Force watchdog who falls in love with him and Rachel McAdams as his now married ex-girlfriend.

If the military and NASA dribble involving secret missiles and land negotiations with Hawaiian natives doesn’t make this film feel droll enough, the lack of chemistry between the characters will. The film is filled with awkward moments, and not the entertaining kind of awkward that makes you laugh, but rather those moments where you just want the scene to end. The most enjoyable moments in the movie come from Rachel McAdams’ husband, played by John Krasinksi who communicates non-verbally for nearly the entire movie. He provides some snickers in spurts, but other than that, this film is neither endearing or humorous. FINAL GRADE: D+